blog entry 01

June 11th, 2026

I recently got hit by an uninsured drunk driver, thankfully I am okay. But now I am left with these consequences that are not my own, consequences that cost.

I have been doing my best at not allowing my body to feel immense stress, that is not good. Stress is my enemy - things begin to tumble if I allow it to overcome. I tell myself everyday that as long as I am able and okay, everything will be okay. It has to be (even when it’s not). Without knowing exactly how I will solve these problems, I find peace in believing that it will be solved. La dee da.

Today I worked my eight hour shift at the local retail vintage shop that I have been working at since I was 17. Lately work that is not related to my pursuit (photography), has been taking a toll on me. But I bet every person that works a full time job feels that way, right? everyday at work I think about all of my energy that is being taken from my creative drive. While I am cleaning out dusty back stock boxes for hours while mosquitos drink my blood, I think about how I wish I had more time to fulfill all of the creative ideas that I have. Instead they just sit there, they linger while I work to support myself.

Lately I can’t help but think about all of the artists that have all of the time in the world, simply because they don’t need to worry about financially supporting themselves. When they already have support systems that can provide them exactly what they need to succeed.

This topic of conversation has been brought up multiple times in the last week, it has been heavy on my mind as I imagine myself what it is like to simply just have - time -. I asked myself if I envy those artists that have almost everything at hand. I am still thinking about this answer. But what I can come up with right now is that I envy the freedom, not them, not anyone. I thought to myself that if I weren’t to struggle in ~ these ways ~ then I would not be the person that I am. This experience is unique to me, as we all have our very own. Every struggle that I am facing, I think of as a non linear step forward. Another thing that I can overcome, that some people can’t. We all differ in the best and in the worst.

Nonetheless, I remain thankful for all that I do have. I’ll have more to say tmrw maybe